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| Been a long time since ive been on here but hey, lets just give it a shot so i can vent a little bit. so lately...wow what can i say has gone on in the past few months. A lot of complete bullshit. always somehow someway something happens to my family. like it got old after my father so now they tell me my mom has breast cancer. hell no. dont even know what to do. but i love my mom shes a strong woman and i know she can get through it and im keeping it at that.
otherwise, my love life. What love life? fuck i only ever recall having one HONEST relationship. But i do remember the feelings for the ones i really loved, and im trying to feel that again. but i mean there is no sense in even talking about it i just gotta give it time and its just gotta happen so...timetimetime 
Almost done school, February 2010 im graduating. Ugh just gotta finish up this year and then one semester next year. And gradproject? pfft easy as shit. I think im going to go to bucks for 4 years too and get my associates then idk i was thinking about temple ambler, but id like to look into some other colleges. im ready to get going in life, i just cant wait for college yeah so drawin a blank nothing more to say
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| Ok, so fuck my life, why wont my AIM work?!! Damnit Whatever, well I'm in school again. I don't really mind it, I don't like school, but it's ok. No use in fighting it, plus we are only allowed to have 5 absences a year. What the hell is that about? Might as well just go everyday, fuck it. I really don't want to write my paper for Forensic Science though, it's on sex offenders, yeah... woohoo. It's a good topic and all for debating, but I have to defend them in part of the essay and I'd rather not. Enough about school. Hey manda, hope you did okay in the hurricane bbgirl. Get back to me about that!! Don't have much else to write about, 'cept that I want to go see a movie and I have no one to go with...
and I kinda want to go to homecoming too... but not by myself. uuggggghhh | | |
| Wow, dont usually write in this but have a lot of thoughts maybe i should get out or just random things I guess I'd like to put down somewhere.
Kyle and I are over, what am I really supposed to say about that? Not really upset if you ask me. I can't do much about it and I really don't want to. And you know, I knew it was coming anyway... he's a fuck up, plain and simple and I don't want that.
I've been thinking along the lines of that too, I think I need to be single for a little bit, but I'm still looking. Not looking for a boyfriend... but more of a best friend, someone I can depend on and have fun with before anything really happens. And one that isn't fucking retarded. I just want someone that can hold his own, I'm sick of dealing with stupid bullshit, just gimme someone a little more responsible or at least has their head on straight and knows what they want to do. Too bad that wont be for a while, probably not until i go to college, but shit how many guys do you think will be in a New York Advanced Training school for beauty THAT AREN'T GAY? Yeah... think about that.
One the other hand, I pretty much know where I want to go in life. Of course I'm going to have to work my ass off and even more, but you know what, I'll get what I want... simply because I want it, and I will get it one way or another. I can't wait for college, moving out on my own, living and working, I love everything about what I am doing with my schooling, and if it was up to me, I would leave as soon as I could to start my career and be independent.
My head is on straight, but my emotions need some healing so until I do that I need to find out somethings about myself, and that is the thing blocking me from a lot of things... I just don't know how I am going to deal with it all...
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